Rock Band

This is not me playing Rock Band. I would totally take a picture of myself playing Rock Band, except I don’t look nearly as good or cool or like I’m having as much fun as these people. I sit cross-legged on the couch, holding the guitar controller vertically so it looks a little like a sitar, with my mouth open a little so that I get really concerned that I look like a total mouthbreather.

THE BLACK KIDS

I LOVE THEM. I WANT TO HAVE THEIR 6-WAY BABIES. ESPECIALLY ALI BECAUSE SHE ROCKS OUT SO HARD IN THE VIDEOS! Also she’s the unicorn so of course she’s my favorite!!!

Okay, now that that’s out of my system. I don’t know if, in a year, the Black Kids are going to be my favorite band. Will they ever beat the Decemberists? Probably not. But GODDAMN are they fighting hard. I don’t usually dig buzz bands – they never really live up to the, well, buzz. And the first time I ever heard the Black Kids, I don’t even remember if I liked them. But in the eight months and nine days since I first heard them, the Black Kids have become pretty much my favorite band. For right now, at least. An LA Times piece about Conor Oberst’s new solo record postulates (I like that word) that the music you listen to between 18 and 22 is the music that means the most to you for the rest of your life. I don’t know if I definitely agree with that, because I’m not that far out of that age range – and I don’t think the author of the piece is either. He had Fevers and Mirrors on his iPod; he’s not old enough to say that the music he listened to then means the most to him. I hope he’s wrong because there’s so much great stuff that has come out since I graduated college. I’m pretty sure that, assuming the author at the LA Times is wrong (and I am assuming he’s wrong), I totally hope that the Black Kids are one of the bands that stays with me forever.

Lollapalooza

I could talk about all the bad things about summer festivals. The heat, the port-a-potties, the heat, the crowds, the heat, the food, the heat, the not always amazing line-up, the heat, the having to miss a band you like to see a different band you like, and the heat. But I LOVE Lollapalooza. I did Pitchfork, I do the smaller neighborhood festivals (if you don’t live in Chicago, you won’t understand what these are – there are usually several every weekend from May through September, and they run the gamut from awesome to shitty and from family oriented to… not. There are so many that it would be impossible to go to all of them, and some of them have really great music, too). None of it compares to Lollapalooza though.

After two days of it, I’m tanner than I will be the whole rest of the year, which is to say no longer practically clear. I’m exhausted and will sleep so well tonight, especially because I’m planning on seeing Kanye, so you know he won’t even go on till 11:30. He’s scheduled for 8-ish.

The ticket prices are steep, but you get to see so many bands. Even when you have to leave someone early, it can seem pretty worth it. But it’s way more worth it to be in front. Last night I was front and far to the side for Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings, which was AWESOME. I took video.

(as of me posting this, the video is still processing, so if it doesn’t work when you try to watch it, just try again later)

You get to see awesome people, like DJ MOMJEANS AKA DANNY MASTERSON.

Yeah I freaked out a little when I saw that.

I’m still on the lookout for Lindsay Lohan.

Also, yeah, this was pretty much just an excuse to post my picture of DJ Momjeans AKA Danny Masterson. I didn’t see him “DJ” but I walked by on my way out and there were a TON of people there, so I’m glad I didn’t go – I was just going to well “WHERE’S DONNA?” and “FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ!” the whole time. I doubt anyone would have heard me over the sound of a million people and “Uptown Girl.” Hey Danny Masterson, I love that movie too and all, but really? Billy Joel? Well, you’re the “professional celebrity DJ,” I guess I’m just the person with taste.

And now I’m back to trying to figure out what to wear today, because I want to impress my current favorite band (other than the Decemberists, obviously), THE BLACK KIDS.

Pandora Radio

I’m a big fan of Pandora Radio. I had heard of it, right around when it started, ish, as an offshoot of the Music Genome Project. I never checked it out, because one time I tried to use the MGP (Music Genome Project is just too long to write out again, and look at me – I’ve turned into Rachel Ray, explaining what “EVOO” means every time I say “EVOO”) and I did not get it. I’m really not very good at 3-D stuff. One of my dream jobs is to be a builder. A builder of what? Anything. I work across from an art museum, and whenever they have a new exhibit opening up, the guys who do the installations come in and get coffee and stuff. Every time, I want to yell, “take me with you!” to them, not only to help me escape the drudgery of having to serve coffee to assholes, and smile while I do it, but also to get to build stuff. It doesn’t hurt that all the guys seem really cool with their painty clothes and sawdust in their hair and messily hand-rolled cigarettes, and one of them is really cute and probably straight (this is an important distinction, because most of the cute guys from the museum ping my gaydar at least a little, although I always hope that it’s just me stereotyping guys who work at an art museum). Mostly, I want these guys to teach me how to build stuff and hang paintings because I can barely tack a poster to the wall. I’m very two-dimensional in my thinking. And that’s why the Music Genome Project scared me and I didn’t understand it. Pandora is way easier to get though.

Trapped in the Closet

I know that R. Kelly rapes and urinates on children. Everyone knows that, except for the jury in his trial. I followed his trial the way smart people follow the election or the war in Iraq. I didn’t fall for the Little Man defense, and while I haven’t seen the sex tape, I’m still pretty sure that mole thing was a crock of shit. But that doesn’t change the genius that is the “Trapped in the Closet” saga. It has a midget that shits himself.

After the jump, the other 21 chapters in the TitC (TitC? GENIUS) story.

Girls Aloud

I’ve never been a very big fan of top 40-style pop music. The Kinks, yes. NSYNC, no. I do have a bordering on unholy love of all things Spice Girls, but that was it for the pop craze of the mid-90s to early-00s. I may have had a Backstreet Boys CD when I was in middle school, but I didn’t listen to it much, and although I still have a soft spot for Ace of Base, I probably wouldn’t even listen to something they put out now. Unless it was in Eurovision. Then you wouldn’t be able to keep me from memorizing it. Speaking of which, Sweden, maybe you guys should get on that. ABBA had a lot of success with Waterloo like 30 years ago, and I’d say Ace of Base is due for a comeback. Eurovision winner 09, I think.

Eurotrip.

Oh, to be in Europe in the late springtime. I never have been, but I fantasize about it. Yes, folks, it’s that time of year again – Eurovision. It’s the most magical time of year. Better than Christmas, better than Halloween, better than when a new Harry Potter book comes out. I honestly feel that my parents deprived me of two things in my life, and one of those things is being European and therefore able to participate in the Eurovision contest. The other thing, well, we’ll get to that eventually.

The thing about Eurovision is that, in Europe, they seem to mostly care about the “talented” participants. They’re the kinds of people who would win American Idol, if they were American. Those people are boring. I really don’t care about the ballads and the radio-friendly potential dance hits. Yeah, I like Abba and I think it’s great that they won in 1974. But I wouldn’t have voted for them. In my opinion, which is really what matters here, the best winner to date is Lordi in 2006
. You all know Lordi. It was big news when they won, because Lordi is a Finnish metal band with potentially Christian leanings. They kind of dress like Gwar, although I don’t think they would make potential band members die to join the band.

My favorite all-time entrant into the Eurovision contest is the second place winner from last year, from the Ukraine.