I Love Stuff

I love a lot of stuff. I love stuff a lot. I can’t help it. This is a materialistic culture and as much as I try, I really love to collect as much crap as possible. I love going to thrift stores and buying the most ridiculous stuff possible, as you would be able to tell from my apartment. It’s full of Precious Moments-esque statuettes/coin banks, faux-bling, broken Polaroid cameras, Christian children’s videos that aren’t Veggie Tales, old lady sunglasses, and more clothes than I can wear in a month of Sundays. Then there are the things that aren’t possessions. That’s another kind of thing. I love visiting places, even though I hate to put on pants, and exploring my city. I have a not-so-secret Troy McClure level of love for jellyfish and squids, and am addicted to music, Arrested Development, and headbands.

One thing I really enjoy, though, is sharing the stuff I buy and love. Carolyn can attest to that. Over the past several years, I have spent literally dozens of dollars on terrible presents for her. Most of them involve unicorns. Some are fuzzy. But this isn’t about Carolyn’s presents. They all need to be surprises. This is about me and what I love. I want to share by showing and by telling, but not by giving. This is my stuff. I won’t share it. Well, I’ll share the music, and you can get that yourself. The rest of it is all mine. But you can join me on an exciting, occasionally terrifying journey through the things that I enjoy.